Streaking Seeker
by Obsian Caetus
Summary: Using the bath house seemed like such a good idea at the time... until someone nicked all the bloody towels along with her clothes and equipment.


So, this was a writing prompt I did out of a truth and dare game between myself, Aeowyn99, Bert-Wrightly, and a couple other authors were playing months ago and my dare was writing a story about Cassandra streaking around Skyhold, willing or otherwise. I'm just now remembering to upload the silly thing.

This was a hell of a lot of fun to write. I might do more silly shenanigans with Cassandra :)

* * *

Maker, why was this happening to her? Normally, Cassandra took her baths in her room but last month, while renovating one of the lower levels of Skyhold, the miners and quarrymen had accidentally tapped into a natural spring. The water had been pure and warm, so, naturally, the Inquisitor commissioned a bathhouse built near the spring for the people to enjoy. She had been avoiding the place, mostly because it was crowded and noisy and she hated bathing without cause but her curiosity had finally gotten the best of her today and she relented, waiting until dusk, when the springs were empty.

She regretted her decision... kind of.

The waters had been quite relaxing and therapeutic but once Cassandra was ready to leave and return to her room, she found her clothes were gone and even all the towels were missing. Cassandra was left, stark naked, in the bathhouse. At first, she thought maybe someone had accidentally taken her stuff but the fact the towels were missing she suspected this was someone's cruel idea of prank. Most likely Sera. She could just wait here for someone to come by and ask them to get her some clothes but as the minutes dragged on, Cassandra realized it wasn't likely anyone would be by any time soon. The nights in Skyhold got cold and only the night guard was out and about at that point... and none patrolled close to the bath-house.

If she found whoever had done this, she was going to kill them.

Getting out of the bath house was easy but Andraste's blood was the temperature dropping fast. She needed to get back to her bedroom, which was only accessible through the gardens in Skyhold. Problem was, there wasn't really an easy route to said rooms except through the Keep itself, or scaling the walls. However, she was freezing and needed to get moving. She dashed for the nearest brazier, crouching behind it as she soaked in its warmth, waiting for the patrol to pass before running for a thick stand of bushes. A couple branches nicked her side but it was nothing. No one was to catch her... else, she'd never hear the end of it from Leliana or the rest of the Skyhold. Being a distant Nevarrian princess was bad enough.

It took twenty minutes to cross the courtyard to reach the frigid stone stairs. There was a guard standing at the door. She needed a distraction and after nosing around in the cold dirt, she found a rock. Cassandra chucked it so it clattered several feet away, drawing his attention. She'd only have seconds once he was clear of the door. She scrambled up the stairs, dashing for the door and diving, landing with a roll and scrambling under a table. No one saw that, good. She might actually make it. The hall was empty, not even Varric was here, sitting at a table and working on whatever letters he was always scribbling. He should be working on the next installment of Swords and Shields, that insufferable man... not that Cassandra would ever say that to his face. Bad enough the Inquisitor outed her to him about the books.

After waiting for the next patrol to pass through the hall, Cassandra rolled out from under the table to the next one, scrambling along the floor and dashing for the Inquisitor's throne. She hid behind it, panting heavily. Luckily, it was warmer in here but only by a few degrees. All she could think about was the embarrassment if someone caught her running around naked in Skyhold. No one would believe her story and whoever nicked her clothes and equipment certainly wasn't going to speak up.

"I need to have a serious talk with the Inquisitor after this." She growled to herself, peeking out from behind the throne to check for signs of life.

Once the coast was clear, she made a run for the door that led to the gardens, wrenching it open and taking two steps past the threshold before she slammed into something, knocking herself back on her bare ass. Cassandra is stunned only for a moment before she realizes she's run into the broad chest belonging to Iron Bull and he has the smuggest grin on his face.

"Am I missing some kind of party, Seeker?" He asks, voice full of mocking laughter as he crosses his arm over his broad chest.

"No! Maker, please don't breathe a word of this to anyone. Especially Leliana." Cassandra growls, face pink with embarrassment as she tried to cover herself, despite the fact Iron Bull has seen everything she has.

"You're the last person I think I'd ever see streaking around Skyhold. Lover chuck your clothes out the window on accident or something?" He laughs.

"No! I... I was using the bath house earlier and someone stole my equipment and clothes as well as removed all of the towels." Cassandra explained, quivering with chills.

"Don't worry Cassandra, I believe you. You're too uptight unless you've got half a barrel of ale in you. Probably Sera or the Inquisitor. Those two always stir up trouble. Come on, I'll escort you to your room." He offers to her.

Cassandra groans internally at having been caught but it could have been worse, much worse. At least Iron Bull was being courteous... she forgets he has manners at times. She sticks close to him, his thick body warm and shielding her from further exposure to anyone who happens across the way as they head to her room.

"Have to say Cassandra, if you ever want to have a ride on the bull, you're..."

"You finish that sentence and I'll rip both your horns out of your skull with my bare hands and shove them up your ass." She interrupts before slamming the door in his face as he laughed.

She was finally safe and could put on some warm clothes! She was probably going to catch a cold from this but no more running around naked, praying the Maker would should mercy, which he did to an extent. Hopefully, Iron Bull would keep his mouth shut... hopefully. Cassandra immediately went to her dresser, only to hesitate when she saw that her armor and weapons were on the mannequin next to it and the clothes she wore underneath neatly folded on the bed. There was a scrap of parchment pinned to the leather of her chest piece and she recognized the handwritten script, anger rolling through her blood.

 _You make this too easy_

 _-Nightengale_


End file.
